Torn Between
by halfasblind
Summary: The aftermath of Something Broken. Read that first or you'll be completely lost. One Shot. Complete.


Title: Torn Between  
Fandom: Gilmore Girls  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. They belong to ASP and Co. No copyright infringement intended.  
Summary: Sequel to "Something Broken". Read that first or you'll be completely lost.  
Author's Note: Written for Camilla because she wanted a sequel and I feel compelled to give her what she wants.

_Where to begin, how do I start  
At the moment love lit the spark  
Staring at the dawn, it's impossible to bear  
Endless longing hanging in the air_

_"You could be that guy, Colin. And I'd let you be that guy."_

Her words from the night before ring in my ear. Never before had such perfect words ever been uttered. The more conscientious side of me cajoles myself, baring a painful reminder that she was drunk and she had no control over what she was saying. But then there's that other part. The less logical part that told me that what she said did bare some truth. After all, Rory was more inclined to admit her feelings when she was drunk. She was more forthcoming with the truth.

Not that it made the situation any easier.

I don't want to be caught in the middle but I suddenly find myself stuck in exactly that place.

Logan's one of my very best friends and I know how deeply he cares for Rory. I know he loves her on some sick level, but he IS Mitchum Huntzberger's son, after all. A lasting, committed relationship is not for him. Sure, Mitchum and Shira have been married for the last twenty-something years, but that's not to say that Mitchum was always faithful. We all knew he wasn't.

Could Logan be different? Possibly. Was he any different? No.

Logan was the spitting image of Mitchum in every way. He liked to rebel against his father, but that was only because he knew that they were so much alike. Of course, it didn't help that Logan was destined to rule the Huntzberger publishing empire. Mitchum stuck it to him every chance he could get as if he were in line to rule a country.

If you ask me the Huntzberger's are nothing if not drama queens.

And I'm a little tired of being upswept in all the chaos. Especially now that it concerns the sleeping beauty currently curled up in my sheets.

I tried to leave. Really, I did. I didn't want to be a part of this. I didn't want to be involved in anything that I could regret tomorrow, but as I lay awake, listening to her steady breaths, I realize that I won't regret any of it. I can't. I've dreamt about this moment for entirely too long.

I hear a door open, then close a few moments later. The sound of shoes hitting the floor make me sit up, but it's as Finn bellows, "Colin! Do you have a girl here?" that I fly out of bed. I quickly thrust on my bathrobe, then bolt out of the room before Finn happens to find that Rory is the girl that currently occupies my bed. He'll find out, I'll tell him myself, I just don't want him to wake her.

When I step out of my room, I see him standing near the couch. He's staring at the black purse that I had thrown there when we had arrived. The contents had spilled out, revealing her student I.D.

Eyebrow quirked, he turns to me. "Is she...?" he asks, pointing to my door.

"Yes."

"Did you...?"

"I didn't intend to."

"Does he...?"

"No!"

"Are they still...?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm not sure."

"Didn't you ask?"

I smile. "No. She was so persistent. I tried to resist, really, I did, but she..."

"... wouldn't take no for an answer?"

I shake my head.

Finn eyes me curiously for a few moments, then his eyes bug out as he jumps to his feet. "You didn't want to turn her down."

* * *

_I help her into the room and onto the bed, laying her down amongst the blankets. She's still hazy with sleep, muttering words I can't comprehend as I settle her in. As I'm leaving the room to bunk on the couch I hear her call my name. It's soft and sensual and makes every hair on the back of my neck stand up. _

Hesitantly I turn to her and a small gasp escapes my lips. I can't help it. She just looks so beautiful against the dark sheets. Her skin shines, glows, even. I have to touch her. I tamp down the urge to cross the room. My feet won't move. I'm paralyzed in the doorway.

She kicks back the blankets, moving languidly across the room to me. "I want you to stay," she whispers, taking hold of my hands.

"Rory...," I needed it to come out hard and demanding, but instead it comes out soft, more like a sigh--a surrender. Yeah, that's what I need to be doing right now, surrendering myself to Rory Gilmore.

She reaches up to touch my cheek. I close my eyes as her fingers outline the contours of my face. "I meant what I said earlier," she whispers. "I do want you to be that guy. I want you to be that guy, tonight."

My eyes snap open. "We can't."

Her eyes widen, then drop to my waist. "We... can't?" she asks, noting my sudden arousal.

I try not to, but, I smile. I fucking smile then she advances on me and that's it. Every rebuttal that I had quickly disappears and all that remains are the two of us.

I kick the door closed and we share a smile before our lips finally collide and it's the most amazing thing ever. I sound like a gushing schoolgirl, but I've laid awake in bed nights just wondering how soft her lips were, how she tasted... And now? It's even better than I had imagined. Every fantasy, every daydream doesn't compare to the real thing.

Her hands are quick and demanding. And tantalizing. Oh so fucking tantalizing. I wish they weren't but every brush of her hand, every agonizingly tender touch engulfs me in a fire that I cannot escape.

I find her zipper quickly as she reaches for the buttons on my shirt. "I'm glad that you've stopped wearing those damn vests, Colin."

"You noticed?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did," she whispers as she pulls me on top of her down on the mattress.

* * *

Sitting at the counter in the kitchen, Finn asks, "So what are you going to do? You fucked Gilmore. Logan's not gonna be a bit happy about that."

"She found out about Logan's extracurriculars during Thanksgiving."

"Oh," Finn says. "What if you're just...," he begins to ask.

"Revenge?" I supply. "Yeah, I thought of that." I stare across the room, my eyes landing on the closed bedroom door. "You don't think she'd do that... do you?"

Finn shakes his head. "Rory is not that kind of person, Colin. And I doubt you'd be the person she'd seek her revenge with."

"I'm in love with her Finn." The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

"You... WHAT!" he asks, incredulous. "How? What the fuck, Colin? She's Logan's... I just...," he stammers.

"Lower your voice," I chaste him. "I didn't really realize it until tonight. When she came and whispered my name, bit MY shoulder, I was a fucking goner. Everything I'd been feeling for the last few months... it just all made sense."

"You're serious."

"About as serious as handing my trust fund to a stranger on the street." I shake my head. "Why'd it have to be her, Finn? Anyone else. Why couldn't it have been anyone else?"

"You can't control who you're attracted to, Colin. It just... it just happens. But if this is what you want and you think she wants it too... don't be stupid enough to let it go."

* * *

Finn will possibly forget everything we've talked about by morning, but he's so fucking reasonable when he's drunk. Why can't he be like this all of the fucking time?

He's so fucking frustrating.

This situation is so fucking frustrating.

I ease back into the room, careful not to make much noise. I don't want to rouse her from her peaceful slumber, but as I softly click the door shut I hear her murmur, "Colin?"

When I turn around she's sitting up in bed, holding the sheet to her chest. "Hey. Sorry. Finn got home."

"Does he know?"

I nod my head as I round the bed to the other side. "How do you feel?"

"Satiated," she answers, a smirk lifting her lips. "Tired," she continues before taking my breath away by admitting, "and surprisingly aroused."

"What?" I asked, disbelievingly.

"Sit, Colin," she says patting the bed beside her.

I shake my head. "No. I-I-I can't," I stammer.

She nods her head, then looks away. She looks pained for a minute, then she turns back to me. "What are you thinking?"

"What do you mean?"

"About me? About... about this? You have reservations. Out with them."

"I just want to know where we are now."

"We had sex. We should be sleeping."

"Rory." Oh, now the callousness returns. _Now?_ Ugh.

"Colin, what do you want me to say? That you were revenge? That you were agile hands and a warm bed and that's what I wanted, needed tonight?"

"Is that what I was?"

She remains steadfast for a few moments, but then her eyes begin to soften. "No. I could never... I could never do that to you. To anyone. Sex is not just some hobby for me. It has to mean something. And you... you mean something to me."

Slowly I sink on the bed beside her. I extend my arm out to her and she moves against me, resting her head against my shoulder. "I'm sorry if you thought I was using you, Colin. I wasn't--I'm not."

She entwines her fingers with mine and my stomach does a nervous flip. "I've wanted you for so long, Rory. I just didn't want all of my waiting and hoping to be a waste and have you return to Logan's bed."

"I'm not, Colin. I swear. Logan and I are done."

"You say that now."

"No, I'm serious. This has been a long time coming. I see that now."

"I don't want to be your rebound guy, either."

She smiles up at me. "You're my all-deserving guy, Colin. Nothing else should matter."

And nothing else does.


End file.
